The most important of all dates is the much feared, yet awaited first date. It’s the time when all the impressions are made. The decision to continue seeing each other or not. There are so many social do’s and don’ts regarding the first date. So many sages who say so many things that double up as love guides. Friends become counselors, colleagues become gurus. Before a first date, everyone who is about to go on that date asks just about anyone they know for tips, guidelines, information etc. The list never ends because people become so apprehensive that it’s a mighty task to get through the date successfully and happily.
Whoever goes on that first date always has their hopes pinned on it. Hoping that turns into real love eventually. The search for that perfect love cannot ever end, till one finds what they are looking for or rather who they are looking for. Here are some tips on what NOT to do on the first date so that it leads to several others in the future!
People who read this also read:
1. The Ideal First Date Conversation Starters, 2. Best Things To Do On A Date, 3. 10 Tips on How to Build Confidence before a Date, 4. Questions to Ask On a First Date and 5. Date Ideas for Married Couples.
Do not talk about yourself constantly
No one likes a person who is proud and brags about themselves. It’s difficult to just sit there and listen while one person does the talking. So don’t be the kind of person who keeps talking. Instead, talk a little about yourself and then ask questions to your date so that they can share some of their own likes and dislikes and dreams too. That is what a conversation is all about at the end of the day. Furthermore, when you talk, be brief. And talk about general things like your job, your aspirations and your house. Keep the conversation simple.
Do not check your mobile constantly
People nowadays can’t do without checking their phone every few minutes for a text or e-mail. But what they don’t understand is that this passes of incredibly bad behavior and if you are on your first date, one of the worst things you can do is check your phone. Avoid looking at it, answer it if it rings but don’t keep you phone conversation too long because your date will feel awkward. Your attention should be on your date and your conversation. So keep your phone inside your bag or pocket.
Do not interrupt
When your date is talking, never interrupt. Especially if it’s the first date. You need to set a good impression and you have to listen to what the other person is saying. If they get the slightest hint that you aren’t interested, it minimizes your chances of another date. So, stay patient and listen to your date and be attentive throughout the conversation.
Do not get too personal
You need to maintain a distance at the first time. You can’t ask personal questions that might hit a nerve. No one likes to reveal themselves too easily in front of someone else. So keep a distance and keep the conversation flowing over general topics that are easy to talk about. Avoid unnecessary and uncomfortable pauses.
Do not talk about your exes
It’s a plain fact – you will have had a couple of exes in your life as will your date, but your first date is no time or place to talk about them. Keep talk of the exes for a later time when you know each other well enough. Till then, talk about each other and get to know the person better.
Do not talk a lot about the future
Enjoy the present, the moment, the now. There is no point in boring someone you have just met with talk of the future and your future hopes to an extent that they don’t want to see you again. Refer briefly to your dreams, yes. But not too much in detail. No one wants to know everything right at the first shot.
Do not delve on the past
The past is done with. Your new date will not want to hear all about in the first date, they may be open to hearing some of it. But that’s where you need to know where to draw the line. Don’t keep talking about the pain, your life, your childhood to an extent that bores your date. You need to keep things interesting and simple after all.
Do not order too much to eat
Although a traditional date is one wherein people go to a fancy restaurant to eat, drink and chat…it doesn’t mean that you go all out and order everything that sounds good. Order just enough for yourself, if you have been to the place before then suggest a few delicious dishes to your date so it can help them pick a good one. Never order for your date on the first date itself. Order for them later on if you’d like to on the 5th or 6th date.
Do not argue over a sensitive issue
If your conversation happens to turn towards a political debate or religious topics, if you are sensitive about a certain issue and your date has contrary views, its never wise to start arguing or debating heavily on your views. This will make your date wait eagerly for the date to end. Be neutral when you discuss things the first time during the first date and as you get to know the person better you can then have healthy debates if at all.
Do not make on the spot promises
A lot time people make empty claims and promises about calling again in the first date itself and land up never calling. If you mean it, say it only then. Otherwise, drop a few hints and bail it without giving anyone hopes.