10 Signs Your Boyfriend Is Too Possessive

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Men are known to be possessive but at times, their insecurity becomes a little too much to handle, especially if you do everything in your power to make them feel comfortable. Guys who are possessive make everything difficult for themselves and for the people around them. A boyfriend is a little insecure and jealous by nature. However, when things cross the boundaries of reason and your boyfriend expects you to be his silent, tormented victim; that is when you should understand that he is too possessive.

An excessively possessive boyfriend defines his own boundaries very subtly from the beginning of the relationship but eventually crosses over yours. Possessive boyfriends are very easily identifiable. Here are a couple of signs to watch out for:

Similar posts that you may also like: 1. Break Up With Your Boyfriend, 2. Deal With Selfish and Inconsiderate Boyfriend, 3.How to Tell If Your Boyfriend is Cheating and 4.Become A Good Girlfriend.

He tries to isolate you from everyone:

The first sign of a possessive boyfriend is that he will try to isolate you from everyone, including your family members so that he becomes the only person in your life. This comes out of a desire for constant attention and importance. Also, a guy who is possessive would want you to rely on him for everything.

He accesses your social networking accounts:

It’s normal for two people in a relationship to access each other’s social website accounts. However, possessive boyfriends go one step ahead and they start ruling your cyber life. I have a friend whose boyfriend used to add and delete people from my friend’s account according to his whims. Even though you are in a relationship with him, he isn’t supposed to tamper with your social networking accounts and get into your space!

He tries to control your life:

Guys who are possessive will try to control each and every aspect of your life starting from the people you hang out with to the clothes you wear. Different guys do this in different ways. One possessive boyfriend might take you out for shopping, buy you a lot of clothes and ask you to wear them to make him happy with the intention of wanting you to wear only those clothes that he approves (read: subtle possessiveness) whereas another might tell you to simply not wear certain things (read: open possessiveness).

He feels jealous of your male friends:

We all have a mixture of male and female friends but a possessive boyfriend will look at the guys as competitors and feel jealous of them. He can go to any extent to ensure that you don’t spend time with them even if you have female friends with you.

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He manipulates things:

A guy who is possessive can manipulate people and situations. He might delete someone from your list on a social networking site and tell you that the friend deleted you rather than the other way round. He might cook a story to convince you to not speak to the guy out of the fear of revelation. He can also try to manipulate you against your family to save himself and to keep you with him. Also, he will constantly try to make you feel guilty about fighting with him or doubting him.

He asks a lot of questions:

Possessive boyfriends are often interrogative. A possessive boyfriend will ask you questions about your whereabouts, your male friends and the people you go out with. Interrogation is his way of making sure you don’t hang out with guys or other people he doesn’t like. He suspects everything you tell him and asks the same questions numerous times to validate the truth.

He is obsessive about staying in touch with you:

Some boyfriends stay in touch with their girlfriends because they genuinely want to stay in touch whereas others want constant information about every relevant and irrelevant detail in their girlfriend’s life. A possessive boyfriend will get annoyed and even mad at you if he can’t reach you, if your phone’s turned off or if you don’t reply to his texts.

He double checks everything you say:

Possessive guys aren’t the kind to believe you easily. They will doubt everything you tell them. Your guy is possessive (and not in a good way) if he double checks everything you tell him. For example, if you tell him that you are going over to your parent’s house, he will call your parents instead of you to make sure you’ve reached and tell you that your phone was switched off even though you know it wasn’t. Or, he might go to the extent of spying on you to make sure you don’t hang around with any guys.

He is insecure about your popularity:

Possessive guys are basically insecure about themselves on a certain level. They feel threatened at every step. If your guy is possessive, he might feel jealous or insecure about your popularity and he might even try to make you unpopular to boost his self esteem.

He checks your phone daily:

Another common trait observed amongst possessive guys is their constant desire to check your phone to make sure you don’t message guys or say something negative about him to your friends. A possessive boyfriend might even accuse you of cheating on him whenever he sees you with a guy!

  • Caden

    My ex boyfriend was super possessive but the entire time I was with him, I didn’t understand a thing. It was only after I broke up with him because of his controlling nature that I realized how he had secluded me from everyone. If your boyfriend is possessive, GET RID OF HIM!!!!

  • Angel

    I would much rather prefer to be single than be in a relationship bound by rules and obligations….

  • Anonymous

    omg. my boyfriend does the same thing!
    everytime i’m at my aunts house he seriously texts n calls me n he gets so mad when i don’t answer n then he’ll call my mom to see where i’m at! it’s so rediculous. then we got into a fight n he tried killing himself.. n i was at the bar n he showed up n asked to see my phone n he flipped n was like who’s dave n blahblahblah. i’m like really? it’s a friend. n then he’ll ask to see my msgs on facebook. like i told him if any guys that im me on fb i don’t answer them because i know he’ll think i’m cheating on him cuz were just friends… it’s soo rediuclous. n he’ll get mad at me if i go downstairs n guys are there. one time i was going downstairs to rinse out a cup one of the boys splashed water on me n i laughed n all of a sudden alls you hear is “GET YOUR ASSS UP HERE NOW!” i was like wow seriously? it gets so bad sometimes. :\

    • Anonymous

      Crazy boyfriend! Don’t go there!

    • jcrew0319

      I find that my boyfriend does the same thing however, he doesn’t know I know he goes through my phone…so now I have a phone that is password protected, and he tries constantly…I keep changing it…I need my privacy…I don’t have anything to hide but he needs to know the boundaries. An insecure man will try to control you and is a very jealous man. My bf has and ailment that causes the controlling and jealousy to be heightened to the extreme, it has been 3 yrs and I am ready to pullout. I love him dearly, but he refuses to take his meds and it is even worse, constantly asking if Im cheating on him…I went to the bathroom one day and got off the phone so I could use it and not be rude on the phone and he asked me if someone came over. I just can’t take it anymore, I feel queasy all the time, and extremely stressed, the only time Im not stressed is when I go completely off on him and he says what is wrong with you been acting funny…are you seeing someone else…???? uggh!!!

      Long story short…get out while you can..you will be miserable, you control you..not him

  • anon

    Ouch. Yeah. I lost all my good friends because of my bf.
    Every time I break up with him he stalks me persistently, one time as long as three weeks.
    Easier said than done, but we just have to be strong.

  • Jane

    Crazy boyfriend! Don’t go there!

  • jenny

    I just broke up with my boyfriend two days ago because of his possessive issues. He goes to my church still but he’s going there for the wrong reasons just to see me. I broke up with him because I was dog and cat setting at some ones apartment and he made plans to spend sweetish day with me but I had a commitment with this sixty year old man to take care of his animals because he has lever problems and had three transplants so when I told my ex when we were dating that I made a commitment to do that he got made at me because he said I never spend a lot of time with him ever and he was going to find another girl to spend time with him so I said find you can do that but I don’t trust you any more and since you don’t trust me at all will then I guest that was not a relationship at all and I am not putting up with your possessive behavior. I ran out of minutes with my phone and he payed for them and I didn’t ask for them and I thought they were for emergencies but they were for to only talk to him only. And he thought I was lying about being at that mans house to watch the cat and dog and that I blew him off and went to one of my friends house and it’s like if I leave the room he’s got to be in the same room as me. And he’s a moma’s boy too.

  • http://www.corebloggers.com Melissa

    OMG… This is.exactly how my life is… There is nothing that I can’t say no to what’s mentioned…
    I’m totally stuck and depressed because of my boyfriend.. I do not want to be with him.. All my friends say leave him… Because he’s too possessive, and according to him, it’s his concern for me… Whereas I hate it!
    I want him out of my life… What can I.possibly do????
    :’(

    • Me

      Ugggh DUMP HIM!!

    • Anonymous

      errm dump him?

    • Anna

      Omg I wanna talk to you bc were going thru the same thing ..

      • Melissa

        Did you get out of it?

    • jcrew0319

      leave!!! go!!! fast!!!

    • http://www.corebloggers.com/blog/signs-your-boyfriend-is-too-possessive.html Tony Dee

      I’m a guy…He’s cheating on you. When you catch him, use that as an excuse to break up with him.

      At that point, change your number, file a restraining order and go out of town for two weeks.

      • Melissa

        I did file a restraining order! Haha! :)

    • Melissa

      I did dump him! It turned out to be pretty pretty bad. Dumping him was not an easy thing to do. He got so mad that he was gonna leave his family for me. But I didn’t want him anymore. I don’t know what made me cling on to him, to our relationship… Maybe I was just too scared, thinking maybe he would do something to me. But trust me, when it gets to a point where you can’t handle it, letting go, dumping the person is the best thing to do!
      It’s been two years since I broke up with him. Life hasn’t been better! Single since then and I lead a happy life. Thanks for all the support guys. Truly appreciate it. :)

  • justaman

    From a male’s perspective:

    I have always been a possessive and jealous boyfriend. Nothing crazy, but if something bothers me I expect my girlfriend to understand. I have always done the same for them.

    If my girlfriends have an issue with my nature they are free to leave. There are not a lot of kind, sincere and fun people like me anyways. I recommend guys out there to be level-headed, but if your girl gives you too many problems … just get over her.

    Cheers to you all.

  • Total

    Well, it will be amazing to have a boyfriend like that, it’s way better than ignorance.

  • weme

    The first (isolation) and the 7th(obssessive about being in touch with you) one are soooo true about my bf, as if the writer of this article knows him!

  • shillu

    My guy did stop me frm wearing clothes giving me a reason that he hates when other guys look at me..but when i did the same thing he understood hw it feeels and he has stop doing it..he stopped me from tlkn to my frnds..i did the same he again flet the pinch and nw says tlk to whom ever u want..he checks my social networking sites,but i don hv prob with it..but at times when we fight he says the fight is al coz of me and makes me feel guilty and says that he doesnt want to tlk to me coz he hates behavior in me,i donno hw to stp ths..but i know he loves..but at times whn he pplays the blame game i hate it and feel like chucking him outta my life…uffff guys r ridiculous:(

  • anonymous

    my bf has ol dis qualities hez over possesive…cz of him i ended my 4 yr old frndship wid one of my male frnds…hez too suspicious n wants to know every single detail about my daily life n he wants me to give my whole tym to him ignoring my fmly n frnz…even he tells me openly what to wear n what nt to wear..he even checks my cell daily n if he finds any unknwn no. he starts doubting me..i’ve talked to him about his behavior bt he thinks he just cares about me dats y he does this..i really luv him n dnt want to lose hin dats d reason i always keep quiet..:’(

  • evelyn

    my bf has ol dis qualities..he always tries to isolate me frm my fmly n frnz…he never allows me to hang out wid my frnz he either tells me to b at home or else go out wid him..he has even deleted ol my social networking accounts..he controls my life completely wer to go wer nt to go wat to do wat not to do..he tels me wat i should wear n if i wear smthng he dsnt allow hes mad at me n starts fighting asking me to breakup n he’s too jealous of my male frnds he dsnt lyk me talking to any other guy cz of him i ended my frndship wid a 4 yr old frnd..:( he asks a lot of questions bt that dsnt matter ol dat matters is he asks d same question 10 tyms in 10 differnt way js to check if m tellin d truth or nt n if i ask him he dsnt trust me he says dat he trusts me bt he dsnt trust d world he dsnt want any thing bad to happen wid me…he wants to knw every single move of my day wat i do d whole day n if i ans his cal late or rply late to his txt he thinks m wid sm guy..he checks my cell daily n if he finds an unknown no. he thinks m cheating him..i’ve talked to him about his behaviour bt he thinks that its his care 4 me…i luv him a lot n dnt want to lose him bt his behaviour kills me…

  • dinooz

    girls also are pocessif !!!!!!
    if you think he is no good for you better leave him…but when you lose him thn cry because he was caring,,when we have somone in our life we dont knw his meaning but when he/she is no longer by your side thn you will shed tears…
    good luck girls :)

  • http://coreblogers cali girl

    i dont no what to do my bf womt let me have guy friends he always needs to no were iam he blows up my phone an gets mad when i dont answer his calls everytime i go into town with him an a guy walks bye hes like really ok and he starts checkin out girls or he gets reall mad at me i dont no what to do cause i do love him but i feel as if im not as happy as i should cause i feel controlled :(

  • http://coreblogers cali girl

    i really need some good idvice cause i feel miserable but i do love him but i hate being told what to do

  • Sunny

    No need for analyses, LEAVE before it gets really out of hand…y’all deserve to be treated much better.

  • Anonymous

    I completely understand…a possessive boyfriend–no, a possessive significant other in general is difficult to be around. It can make you feel smothered, or like a dog on a very short leash. It can be very annoying to feel like that person can’t trust you no matter what you say. But maybe one thing to consider that I haven’t seen raised is this: understand why. Why not try to understand WHY that person is like that. People always want to find answers without understanding the problem. Did something traumatic happen? Did they just come from a horrible relationship that shattered their sense of security? Family? What life events made them this way? It’s not an excuse for the possessivness, but at least if you know, you might be able to come up with more cognitive ways of maybe trying to restore his/her security and faith in the relationship

  • neha

    my boyfriend is also posesive..i also get annoyed sometimes.but i also know that he love me v.much.n in a relatinshp privacy dsnt matter..he 2 suspects me bt m alwaz ready 2 pruv myself tru..4 hm i left frndshp wid evry1 he said..adjstment means relatnshp

  • Taylor

    this discribes my relationship perfectly. he doesn’t like it when I’m in public, expecially alone, he gets mad if I wear ANYTHING that shows my body off. he gets mad if I look at guys, I could never even think of talking to another guy. I never hang out with my friends. I can’t go anywhere with my family. I don’t have any social networks because I deleted them all. he accuses me of cheating on him all the time too! he’s so controlling and possessive, but for some reason I can’t get out, I can’t find the nerve to just get away, because I worry what he’ll do.. HELP!

  • alice

    I wish I’ve read this before I met bf now , he’s totally like that n when I’m tryin to break up with him . He threatened to kill him self n I said just do it bcs I hate him n he also abusive but after that he said he’s gonna kill me if I ever break up with him , now I don’t no what to do :( pls help

  • Hurting

    I am inlove with this man. He is possesive to the point that it has destroyed us. He accuses me of cheating all the time. Calls me names. My self worth is destroyed. Flips out if I am in the bathroom at the store talking to him. Says I am hiding our conversation from someone. Even though I am by myself and just genuinely going pee. Goes through my phone. Checks my facebook. Finds stuff wrong. Its innocent things. But in his mind its something. Accuses me of looking at other guys. Flips out if I don’t answer my phone. Even if I am at work or in bed in the middle of the night sleeping. Jealous if all guy friends. I have lost all my guy friends and many of my female friends. And when I talk to someone about this stuff. A friend, family member. It makes itworse. He gets very upset. Tells me I am not a good girlfriend because of it. Yet he goes and lies and tells his few friends he has and family members that I sleep around. Which I don’t. He tells me what ha bad person I am.
    A huge red flag. He has had broken up relationships. He has said that all of them have cheated. (What are the odds). At this point I don’t think any of them have cheated. He calls me a names and I have always been true.
    Also if I call him out on any of this he gets pissed. Might yell. Might hang up the phone. Might call me more names. But never an apology.

    • Shahnaz

      I am really sorry to hear that. Reading this, everything you have said is a mirror of my life right now. I don’t know what to do.

  • joyce

    I wish I’ve read this before I met bf now , he’s totally like that n
    when I’m tryin to break up with him . He threatened to kill anyother person who i will be with if I ever break up with him , now I don’t no what to
    do ..all the above re him.completely him.i real need help for this

  • maxy

    good friends we were…i fell in love with him and the worst thing happened..i was so weak…that is where he started to call me and make love with him…he was so possessive or whatever when i used to say no..he just wouldn’t listen..and say i can’t just stay away from you….and when i don’t visit him he used to get angry with me and didn’t talk to me like weeks…so i told you i was weak…was not able to get myself out of the relation that time…and of course he crossed my limits…i mean its okay to kiss and hug…but no touching on private parts before marriage…and we both believed in this…but still he forced me and i was so weak…i used to say him no …stop it..but he wouldn’t listen…and then he proposed me and told me to marry him…but that phase was awful…now because of his that behavior i was gradually getting out of weakness .no more in love that way…now i just love him….and now im strong not that weak and now im yelling at him for what he has done and forcing me throughout the relation…he says he can’t survive without me…he wants to marry me…he says calls me with sweet nicknames….and during that time i would like to mention he used to wish me on my birthdays and also used to congrats me when i achieved something….he says he dont want any other guy to look at me with bad eye…now he says he is so sorry he was very possessive but i didnt like how he used to touch me…it was horrible…what should i do…

  • maxy

    please tell me…he says your mine mine mine mine

  • maxy

    its scary what he says about that phase..he says he wants to absorb me…as your someone that is born only for me…i want to inhale you…ahh its so scary…i dnt if he is obsessed with me…i now asks why you did that i trusted you…i told me last night..he still can love me crazy like that right now…and he can kiss me thousand times but couldnt get enough..i am an artist and i am an eczema patient…he has seen my worst and my very good skin too…now a days my skin not too good but he still kissed me and specially on my eczema..he says he is not afraid of touching me…he says he owns it….last few days he kissed me on my lips when i said no because i have severe eczema there…i just dont know if whats he is doing right now is because he is afraid of losing me…or what…im so tangled…i dont know what should i believe his words or actions….because he broke my trust…its been more than year now from that phase and he is still here for me and i am still saying why you did that…why..i trusted you….i need help please….

  • Green Eyed Mama

    My boyfriend is this way. But I don’t mind it. His insecurity forces him to take care of me in any way he can. Including my son whom is from a previous relationship. He is obsessed with me and sometimes it’s annoying and I will go against his wishes and we fight but he always comes back. He’s never laid a hand on me or called me names. Maybe I’m sick but it makes me feel loved & cherished. We are both madly in love with each other.