12 Ways to Deal With Selfish and Inconsiderate Boyfriend


If your boyfriend does not respect your time and always puts his priority before yours, he is selfish and inconsiderate and it is very difficult to stay in a relationship with someone like that. However, if you love him a lot and you know that he reciprocates your feeling, you should give your relationship a chance. If there is love, then there is always a room for change and improvement. Here is a list of things you can do to handle your selfish and inconsiderate boyfriend:

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1. Interesting Questions To Ask A Guy, 2. Random Questions to Ask your Boyfriend, 3. Ways To Break Up With Your Boyfriend and 4. How To Get Over a Guy You Love.


Talk to him about what you feel

The first thing you need to do is talk to him. Try and explain how his actions impact your feelings. If necessary, use examples from one of the previous occurrences to make him realize how selfish his behavior was and how much it hurt you. If there is something he does in particular like being late on dates or not calling you up on time, talk about it clearly. Tell him how his words and actions hurt you. You do not have to ask him for justifications or reasons for that behavior but try and reach out to him as much as you can.

Ask him to make efforts

A relationship can work when both the people make efforts to make it work and the effort should come from within the heart. He might feel that a relationship is not a place where efforts need to be made. He might think that relationships work on their own but the truth is that they don’t. Every relationship needs a certain amount of efforts and he has to understand that his contribution is equally important.


Treat him with a little indifference

If he doesn’t understand anything you tell him, stop talking and start pretending. If he hurts you, make it obvious through your actions. Treat him with indifference and ignorance. You don’t have to hate him but just pretend that you do when he is around. Show some selfishness in your behavior. If he doesn’t show up on time for a date, leave a message and go out on your own. Since you have never acted this way, he is bound to notice the change in your behavior. Let him step into your shoes and understand how you feel when he acts selfish by prioritizing everything before you. It will help him to relate to your feelings and he will probably start paying more attention to his actions and that might bring about a gradual change.

Don’t be available at all times

Don’t be his doormat. Don’t be his last resort. You have a problem dealing with his selfishness so that is the first thing you need to erase. If he cancels a date just a few hours before he was supposed to meet you or simply decides to not show up, don’t wait by your phone for him to call and reschedule. Just leave him a short message telling him how you feel about it. When he eventually does call you, show a little reluctance about another date. Know where to draw the line though because if you don’t, then he will think that you don’t like him anymore.

Whatever you do, don’t nag

When I ask you to tell him how you feel, I am not asking you to keep repeating yourself. Hold on to your dignity and make yourself clear to him. If you keep nagging, he will just get annoyed and stop listening to you altogether. Keep your words scarce but meaningful when it comes to these issues.

Ask him to be sensitive and considerate

He will have to learn to be considerate. That will happen once he starts being more sensitive towards you and your emotions. Show self esteem and tell him what you expect out of him. Asking him to be sensitive and considerate isn’t asking too much. It’s something he doesn’t realize because you have always been considerate of his feelings. Giving him a taste of his own medicine might help you but you also need to know when to stop.

Don’t lose your temper on him

It is frustrating when you wait for the result of your endeavors to bear fruit but don’t get angry and let it out on him. Anger is not going to help the situation but only worsen it so keep your temper under control.

Give him some time to change

When you invest time and energy into something, you expect quick results. However, your boyfriend is not an object. He is a person so he needs some time to undergo emotions, realize his mistakes and then change. This is not something that can happen in a day. You will have to be persistent in your efforts to make him more considerate.

Praise him when he makes an effort

Even when you see a tiny positive change in him, let him know that you have noticed the change. Use positive words while talking about his efforts and describing your relationship. Let him see how happy his efforts make you because that will encourage and motivate him to make more efforts.

For your own sanity, socialize

Go out with friends. Don’t wait for him to do everything. Create your own space and don’t allow him to enter their. When you have your space, you will also start appreciating his. If you go out and make some friends or meet your existing ones, you can stop thinking about everything that’s wrong with your relationship and start looking at things that aren’t.

Take a temporary break

After all these efforts, if he doesn’t change his attitude towards you, consider taking a temporary break from the relationship. Ask him to use that time to reassess your position in his life. He will value you when he understands your importance and for that, you need to let him live his life without you for a while. He might have been taking you for granted all this while so don’t stick around. Give him some time alone to clear his head and set his priorities straight.

Dump him

If the temporary break doesn’t work, there is nothing you can do but go on a permanent break. There is no point in wasting your life with someone who doesn’t understand how wonderful and amazing you are. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t value your time or your efforts? This is the last resort but if nothing is helping him in being sensitive towards you then you need someone who values and understands you. You gave it your best shot so you have nothing to regret.

  • Cherry

    You don’t have to deal with them. Leave them and run as far as you possibly can…. Such guys are a threat to relationships…

  • Fran

    I agree with Cherry. Try to make him understand the implications of his behavior on your relationship but if he continues to be inconsiderate, just leave him and go. There’s no need for sympathy here!

  • meital

    It’s really only about knowing how to communicate to a man. If you know how to do that, and learn how to understand men, you’ll know how to banish this type of behavior.

  • Ekworonu blessing

    The point is that some stupid bf tend to pretend as if they have changed after being confroted.they have already have the trait. Look, if you have common sense and you have noticed all this strange behaviour in him at the first interaction, please please abandon him ,he can’t change.what matters is your happiness.try to hang out with a positive friend. wow! Thanks for that wonderful article.

  • Anonymous

    All dogs,,

  • Brokenheart29

    I started crying after I read this because I’m a 29 year woman that is in love with a selfish child. My boyfriend is 32 but he acts so childish when he does not get enough attention or when I tell him something bothers him. We have only been together for a year and his behavior has been getting worse and worse…I cannot even talk to him about it because he will throw a fit or just start completely ignoring me…I really do love him but I do not feel like he is leaving me any choice…he doesn’t even offer to change, lately he’ll have a “headache” and leave me hanging if he doesnt like what i’m talking to him about. (I have been having a bit of financial hardship lately) and he has told me i should get a second job and then goes on to talk to me about what new cars he has bought himself??!! Im going nuts and i dont know what to do? Please help:-/

    • Anonymous

      Brokenheart that sounds just like my man..he doesnt give a toss about my efforts or care i have for him and im also struggling for cash but he goes out and buys a new car just cos he can l.

    • mary

      Hi. sorry about what you are going through. i went through it myself and i left. i also had financial difficulties having no job and my ex still owes me money and has not paid it back. my suggestion is try to find a way out and leave him.

    • http://hotmail Mary

      Leave his cheap butt alone. He is a looser, if he can not appreciate the Queen you are. You can do bad yourself. He is only going to frustrate you. If you step out of the picture and look in. He probably do not make you happy. Love yourself.

    • Anonymous

      I have so many things to say to what you said brokenheart29, I know exactly what you are feeling!!!
      If you need someone to talk to I’m here girl!! I know exactly how it feels been in your shoes!
      Feel free if you need a friend to rant to!!!

    • Anonymous

      You sound like a mature woman & kind. Sounds like he is using you. I feel if he loves you he should be more considerate of your situation. He is selfish. I knoooow its tough but move on.

    • Anonymous

      Yes same is true to my experience,,,all jerk.

    • Anonymous

      If you already gave him the chance to change and he is still the same there is clearly no point to waste time, people can’t really change at the age of 32. you have to make your life on your own and try to distract your mind by finding a second job or hanging out with friends. some people are too selfish to understand how you feel. he is not the man you imagine in your head so break the scale you made of him.

    • BluBird

      WOW!! That sounds like my boyfriend. I really had no idea that so many insecure men existed in the world. What’s with you men, seriously?
      I would simply leave him, as women as human beings we all deserve to be treated with respect and valued and there is no value that he has for you.

      Shoot! As I speak these words to you I should be speaking them to myself. Oh dear God. There’s my reality check.

      I really wish you the best of luck but listen to your heart and follow it, it will lead you to happiness, the heart never lies, never .

  • Kristel

    @broken heart:he clearly is using u like a doormat and not respecting u…lay low…focus on ur goals, dont give him time and start focusing on the areas you hate about your life, learn some new hobby, start investing your time to reasses and improve your financial ability…. He might notice how u are changing your life…and start respecting and valuing you

  • Joely

    my boyfriend has his selfish ways and he admits to them, he told me before we began our relationship. I go out of my way for him but it seems like he can’t do the same for me. It really affects me but he has told me that he’s sorry and he needs time to change because all his life it’s been all about him but how do I cope with that? I love him, my question is, do I just ignore the selfishness until he changes? I hate having arguments about it all the time, I don’t want to make him feel pressures into change. I know there’s a soft side underneath all of that, that’s why I love him it peaks out from time to time.

    • BluBird

      I agree with what Anthony says but I also understand your situation. I am so sorry. But yes you need to find someone whom will value you and your time.

    • marrakech

      Don’t wait until he changes… because he won’t. You’ll end up disappointed and unhappy. Life is too short for that.

  • Anony

    Brokenheart29 – dump him. He’s not that into you. Find somebody who is. He will NOT change at 32 and men like that are just looking for women to put up with their bad behavior.

    • Liza Yellowbird

      He will not change at 32? Yeah, he’s so old and set in his ways. Jaysus, at 32 he’s a child! Of course he can change. Ask any man of 40, 50, or 60! Stupid fuck.

  • Jan

    Nail on the head! I also have an inconsiderate boyfriend, who unfortunately I have fallen into the trap of nagging because we have had the same argument over and over again, I explain the issue and he is so arrogant that he tells me he didn’t need to contact me to tell me he wasn’t coming over and I need to accept that because he doesn’t intend to change and furthermore he has never said sorry. I am obviously so indignant that I feel the need to repeat myself and then I am accused of nagging and the one to blame for the argument. This is all from a man who has told me he loves me and wants to marry me! We are now on the verge of breaking up – I have told him his parents could not have done a very good job teaching him manners.. I have honestly tried everything but really why do these men think they can get away with this – I am at my wits end!

  • Myc82

    Brokenheart, you need to leave him, he will nevertheless change. Leave him now before you become even more invested!

  • FA

    Dump him!

  • Mars

    Omg… Reading this has hit the nail on the head for me. I’ve just come out of a yrs relationship with the most selfish arrogant man ever… How I put up with it so long I regret but I’m so glad I’m out of it for good.

  • Alicia

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    • Gina

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    • Sad

      Shut up whore.

  • Gris

    my bf always promises me to get me this and that but he almost never does. And after sometime when we come across that particular thing (e.g. a jersey of our favourite team) he wouldn’t offer to get it for me even if i hint that he promised to buy me the jersey before. And when we go out for meals we mostly split bills. I am not comfortable with this and when i tell him, he’d say sth like: ok next time onwards i’ll pay for u until you’re finacially stable. But then he never does. everytime the waiter pass us the bill, he either pay it first then ask me to pay my half, or split it in front of the waiter. I feel not treasure as my exes all offer to pay (not all the time, but most of the time) when we date. This is driving me crazy because i do hv my own bills and checks and fees that i need to take care of whereas he doesn’t.

    any suggestions ?

  • maine

    It is almost two months now since i order a pregnancy spell cast on me by Dr EGUE from egueofemspellhome@gmail.com and which i started seeing changes on my body since the first week of last month and it two month and i am carrying my own baby in my womb i am so happy that i finally get pregnant after all i been through. All thanks be to DR EGUE……CONTACT HIM ON HIS EMAIL VIA egueofemspellhome@gmail.com FOR HELP AND HE WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY THE WAY I AM NOW

  • BluBird

    My boyfriend is very selfish, EVERYTHING must be done with his friends whom he treats as his family. EVERYTHING. Every wknd is consumed with hanging out with them, and it’s always the same thing, they drink, sit around for 8-10 hours eating drinking and watching tv and playing bingo BORING!! It’s also that culture I think, they are Mexican and refuse to speak English so I really have nothing to do the entire time I am there. It sucks.

    I hate it and if I say anything to him he claims I’m stupid and it’s all me, act differently and support him and I would get things.

    What?? Are f’in kidding me? You must be. I’m always in tears and he likes to see me cry bcuz he says he is hurting and wants me to hurt as well.

    I’m really confused bcuz I love him and want to be with me but this is too much really. Help

  • Sad

    In it now. Waste of time, ingrained habits with this creatures. My guy and soon to be ex simply has no concept of putting me first. I get the same old line that he is so used to being alone as an excuse but it’s old and I’m over it. It’s draining and tiresome and belong painful. They truly have no concept the agony they cause you. It’s quite sick the lack of empathy. These men are broken toys, so to speak. Get out and run. I am seeking the strength but as I have nearly no family or friends it is hard.

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  • jessica

    Am Jessica by name My ex-boyfriend dumped me 6 months ago after I
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    a friend of mine introduce me to Dr Ayelala by giving me his email, i never believed until
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  • Shutupalready

    so many grammatical errors, should have known a woman wrote this. Listen, to all you women, maybe its time for you to stop being so self absorbed and self centered. All i see is a bunch of girls bitching about there boyfriend, well hmm ? Maybe its not the boyfriend, maybe your just a bitch who expects the world. This isnt romeo and juliet , so get over yourselves. This is a joint operation and it takes two to tango, and next time you wonder why hes a dick , look inside your self for answers instead of trying to change hin

    • Terminator

      You have the audacity to comment on a woman’s grammatical errors when you can’t even manage to capitalize the first letter of the beginning of your arrogant sentence. Maybe you’re just another fucking chump who doesn’t realize that this post is about the LACK of partnership these women are experiencing after giving their all to the men they love. There is nothing self centered about expecting the person you love to return that love. It’s called an adult relationship. You clearly are a scum bag. Get out of here!!

  • http://www.freefaxtoemail.biz/ Prudence

    Money doesn’t change men, it merely unmasks them. If a man is naturally selfish or arrogant or greedy, the money brings that out, that’s all.

  • candace

    Excellent article. Im a therapist and unfortunately i have been with many of these men and currently again am. I am going to try this. I just recently lost my cool and lashed out verbally. My lack of communication about his lack of consideration for me and his sloppiness finally after the past 8 months caught up with me and i unleashed. It was not well received and like a child he stated over the phone he’s not sure if moving in is best anymore. Instead of considering me and picking up after himself he has consciously decided to not work and to get his way. I decided to do the temporary break. If he does not show empathy or effort it will be perminant. Thank you for this guideline, its helpful to many.

  • Yennis

    When a man is mature. He won’t present his worst to anyone in his life. Once a man starts to disrespect the women in his life. It’s a red flag he is still a boy. Who felt that he is entitled to all the goodness in his life. And the obvious way to teach him how to be a man. Is to leave him on his own path. Let him go through all the pain and pitfalls. By himself. He will wise up. He will know in order to have love and respect from others. It all starts by being his best.

  • maarsh aarr

    my bf wants to meet me when ever he wants bt if i cudnt do it he will get angry?

  • Rebecca Chapman

    My boyfriend is such an asshole sometimes! He never talks to me, just talks at me. Whenever I’m playing as him, he just focuses on battling or killing the nexus, and never once asks me how I feel. Sometimes I feel like dating a fictional champion isn’t really worth it…

  • Angelia Odiame

    If you are on this page .. that just tells ya.. don’t be on this page coz you shouldn’t have to.
    youre too good for him. Dump the fuckin looser you deserve better

  • Love’s in e aiR

    I have done all of it.. And currently ended breaking up totally! Suddenly he dropped me a cal n reacted like nothing happen n so which lasted less than 10min n routinely as he lead a routinic life! He text me morning text and gd nite text fr abt 4days.. On e fifth day I ws so irritated n upset, that it’s Jz a routine life n no other effort made fwd, I stop texting him. He didn’t text me at all! I’m seriously confused over it n feel like he Have got sm serious issues within himself to solve 1st! I wan him to change n reform into a new leaf.. I need help! Coz I think I’m hurting myself mentally n I’m tired n tired!