Some guys are very good with women and it can be a little tricky to understand their ulterior motives. They can be really sly and subtle about their intentions. Some guys go to extent of trying to make the girl believe that they want sex and that he’s just obeying her wishes so as a girl, you will have to be careful about people you get intimate with. Others however are stupid enough to spell it out for everyone to see. Irrespective of which category your guy falls into, it is not impossible to find out whether he is using you or not. Firstly, you need to acknowledge the fact that your are being used. Avoiding reality will not change it and it most certainly won’t help you to get a solution. Here are a couple of ways to know if a guy is using you:
He doesn’t call you very often:
If a guy is genuinely interested in you, he will call you and try to talk to you as much as possible in order to connect with you on an emotional level but if he’s just trying to use you, he’ll only call enough to make sure you don’t doubt his intentions.
He doesn’t have much to talk about:
Even when he calls, if your conversations are full of awkward pauses that don’t go away with time, it usually means that you guys don’t share the same wavelength. If a guy continues dating you without having any real conversation with you, his intentions might not be as honest as you’d like to believe.
He appears distracted when he’s with you:
Have you been out with him and felt that he’s only physically present or does he leave early every time you are out with him? That might be because he has no real interest in you.
He’s secretive with phone calls around you:
Does he go to a corner and whisper into the phone instead of talking like a normal person whenever he gets a call in your presence? He might have a perfectly logical explanation for that, the most frequent one being that it was his mother’s call and he didn’t want her to know he was out but don’t fall for it. For all you know, that might have been another girl he’s trying to nail!
He doesn’t want you to call him late in the night:
Have you ever called him really late in the night especially if he has asked you to never do that and found his number engaged? I had a friend who was dating someone like this and the guy used to tell her that his mom calls up at odd hours to check on him, thus the engaged number. But eventually, she figured out that he was two timing her.
He is more than happy to spend money on you:
Guys who lie to women about their feelings usually satisfy their guilt by spending a lot of money on them. Women appreciate that and basically everyone gets what they want until the truth comes out.
He wants to take you for a trip very early in a relationship:
Every relationship reaches a certain point after which romantic trips and getaways are eagerly awaited but if your guy wants to take you out for a trip even though it’s evident that the two of you aren’t compatible and don’t connect to each other at all, there’s just one thing he’s looking for.
He avoids talking about his personal life:
A guy who is only interested in having fun with you will usually be reserved when it comes to his personal life. Since he doesn’t care about you or what happens to the relationship, he will not bother to make a lot of effort to connect with you by talking about his life.
He doesn’t introduce you to friends and family:
If a guy has no feelings for you, he won’t care enough to introduce you to people who matter to him. Since an emotional connection is immaterial to him, he will not bother about introducing you to his family.
He tries to keep the relationship a secret:
Some guys go to the extent of talking the girls into keeping the relationship under the wraps even from the mutual friends. This actually helps them to lie without getting caught. Watch out for such guys!
He tries to lower your self esteem:
Some guys try to lower a woman’s self esteem in order to make it difficult for her to leave him and go away once she realizes his game. They say a lot of negative things about their personality so if your guy keeps saying that you are stupid, idiotic and the likes, you should be careful around him.
He keeps pushing for intimacy:
The easiest way to understand if your guy is just using you is to make a mental list of instances where he’s wanted physical intimacy. If he keeps trying to get intimate or keeps pushing you to have sex with him even when you tell him that you are not ready, you should push him out of your life.
His life, in general is a mystery for you:
Mystery is good unless the mystery covers everything in his life. If you know him from work but you don’t know much about his life (even his work life), if he doesn’t mention any of his friends and doesn’t like meeting you in general, it’s quite evident that he doesn’t want you to know anything. The fear of getting caught can be very overpowering.
He gets angry if you don’t want to have sex:
It’s all right for a guy to be disappointed if you don’t want to have sex with him but if he gets really angry or starts shouting and cursing when you refuse to have sex, then that is the only thing that binds him to you. You need no further proof of his real intentions.
Your instincts say that he’s using you:
Nothing can be a better judge of people than your instincts. If your gut tells you that something’s fishy with the guy, chances are that your instinct is right so just dump him.