Do you get nervous when talking to someone you like? Have you ever done something in a fit of anger and later regretted it? Do you tend to lose focus and get upset if things go wrong? If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then you let emotions take the better of you. No, there’s nothing in wrong in feeling strongly about anything, or to experience strong emotions, but when the emotions start controlling your actions instead of the other way around, problems might arise.
It is of utmost importance to realize that emotions are a necessary part of our lives, but excess of anything is bad and it’s true in this case as well. The key in dealing with emotions is not to ignore or suppress them but to embrace your emotions and respond objectively. Scientists have often talked of recurring patterns in nature and there’s a clearly marked one in case of emotions and overpowering them.
1.) Whenever you start feeling a surge of emotions – it may be anything, but not in moderation – the trick is to dissociate immediately. View yourself like a character in a movie or a video game. That breaks the tension that’s building up and makes you view your actions in an objective light.
2.) Second important step is to recognize your emotions. Once you have controlled the first surge by successfully dissociating, you can then take out time to analyze the cause of your emotions. It is imperative to realize that emotions don’t appear magically, but there’s a valid and perfectly plausible cause behind them. Recognizing your emotions helps you to control them better. To keep track of what irks you, ticks you off, makes you sad or elated, you could keep a journal and write in it every time you experience a mood swing.
3.) Once you have analyzed the root of the emotion, write down if what you’re feeling is justified or not. For example, you may feel angry at a certain colleague who just got promoted, for no fault of theirs. In this scenario your anger is a manifestation of jealousy of their being promoted and hence totally uncalled for by the person himself.
4.) Once all this has successfully been taken care of, weigh your options. Do you still want to react the same way you did before step one? Or do you see some manifestation of change in the manner you wanted to react originally? In all probability, it will be the latter. A very important and helpful question to ask yourself in this situation would be this: ‘Is there any way to look at the situation more rationally in order to be able to deal with it in a manner objective and calm?’ Simply, there are two things you can do. One, you could not react, i.e., do nothing. Second, you could react in a manner completely opposite to what you initially set out to do.
Ensure that when deciding what to do, you make an informed conscious choice and don’t give in to emotions all over again. Just follow these guidelines whenever you feel outsmarted by your own emotions and you will gain control in no time at all!