Cheating on your partner shakes the very base of the relationship and it is very difficult to behave normally and rationally once the faith goes away. But, if your love for your partner is encouraging you to give your relationship another try, kudos to you. After all, cheating doesn’t always mean that both of you should move on. It can also be a warning sign, your last chance to fix the small glitches in your relationship so that you can spend the rest of your life with your partner happily. Here are ways to fix a relationship after one partner has cheated:
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Decide whether both of you want to get over everything and move on
When a cheating partner first comes clean, it creates utter chaos in the life of both the individuals. Both of you need to do some serious thinking to decide whether or not this relationship is worth another chance. If you both want to give it a try, then you will have to forget the episode in its entirety and move on. It’s not going to be easy and neither will the two of you forget about it in a day but you will have to try. There is no point in being with someone if you keep thinking about the bitter things.
Talk about what went wrong and why
The cheating partner will have to gather some courage to initiate an honest discussion about everything that resulted in the cheating and talk about what happened. Unless everything becomes transparent between the two of you, it will be difficult to establish trust or faith.
Be very patient and understanding when your partner talks about why he/she cheated
If your partner is the one who cheated, you will have to be patient and calm while hearing all the details. This is probably the most difficult part of the reconciliation process but nevertheless important. Make a genuine effort to understand their point of view because identifying the root cause is the only way you can avoid such a situation in the future.
If you are the cheating partner, make a sincere apology
On the other hand, if you have cheated on your partner, you will have to be more than sincere when you apologize to your partner. Keep in mind that one apology will not be enough and you will have to think of numerous ways to let you partner know how sorry you feel about your actions.
Stop wishing for the past to change because it won’t
Don’t go into self loathing and wish for things to change because it won’t. The damage has already been done and no amount of reproach, guilt or self pity is going to change that. Instead, focus on things you can do now to reduce the hurt and the pain of your partner. If your partner cheated on you, he/she is probably not that happy either so try to establish a stronger relationship from the ashes of the old one.
Think about ways to improve things in the relationship
There are many ways to improve a relationship but know that the effort has to come from both individuals. Try going out on romantic dates, spend time with each other and talk about everything that bothers both of you. There is nothing that an honest and deep conversation cannot solve.
Once you have discussed the reasons for cheating, don’t play the blame game in future conversations
When the discussion is finally over, lock those thoughts and live like this event never happened. The blame game is not going to do anything good for your relationship. Some things are better left in the past.
Give your partner another chance with all your heart
When you decide to give your partner another chance, don’t just do it for the sake of it. You need to give your relationship a chance from the core of your heart. Otherwise, you will never be interested or willing to make any efforts in improving things between your partner and yourself.
Ask him/her to erase the other person from his life
When the two of you decide to let go of the past and move on with your relationship, the cheating partner has to let go of the other woman or man completely.
Push yourself to not distrust them
Even though your partner has broken your trust once, don’t tell yourself that he/she will do it again. Don’t think about all their moves or scrutinize everything they say. You might have to force yourself to believe what they say initially but it is absolutely necessary in order to have a healthy relationship.
Trust them but not blindly because that would be foolishness
Don’t be foolish in your actions. You should not over analyze everything they do to look for any signs of cheating but at the same time, don’t be blind to the possibility of them doing something wrong. They might be acting strange because they are nervous about being around you after cheating on you but don’t show blind faith on them.
Explore new options with them
Do something new together. It can be anything from trying a new cuisine to living a childhood fantasy and going to Disney-world. You can also think about skydiving, para sailing and just about anything under the sun.
Plan a trip for two to liven up the romance
Another great idea would be to go for a second honeymoon. Take some time to unwind and clear your heads. It will be a fun thing for the both of you where you will get the opportunity to spend hours with each other and reignite the missing romance.
Both of you will have to make a lot of effort so be prepared
Don’t hold back in making efforts. Both of you will have to contribute to give your decision some results and your relationship another chance. Even though this is going to be difficult, stay optimistic and motivate each other. For all you know, the cheating was a big lesson that both of you needed to learn in order to make this relationship stronger.
Do small things that make him or her happy, even if you have to push yourself for it
Small things can make a big difference. Think about the little things you’d do for each other when the relationship had started and rekindle those moments. Consider this pause as a fresh beginning to be with someone you love and to show someone what they mean to you.
Understand that it’s going to need compassion and forgiveness, not just love
Love is not the only thing you will need to mend the damage. Love is just one of the many elements that result in a happy and strong relationship. So, be ready to give it all you got and pray for things to become better.