Are you not as popular a person in your friend circles as you’d like to be? Is there something in you that drags you down the social ladder no matter how hard you try get back up? Well, honestly, we all do, so there’s nothing wrong with you and the constant desire to be liked is just human. Likable people are favored because others feel happy and relaxed in their presence. We feel secure in their presence and comforted enough to share our feelings. In short, they make us feel at home. And of course, who wouldn’t want to be one of them? So, if you’re trying to find ways to be more likable, here are some key steps that might just work for you.
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1. Understand that you are a good human being and allow that to radiate to others around you. Remember, if you don’t like yourself, nobody else will.
2. Be a good and attentive listener. This is one of the best ways to make yourself more likable. Everyone always has a lot to say about themselves but hardly anyone to listen to it. To kick start a conversation, all you have to do is ask them something about themselves. They’ll do the talking and like you for listening to them.
3. Show compassion and empathy, not sympathy. Everyone is looking for a person who’s going to understand their issues, empathize with their situation, but not show excessive sympathy because it often the result of pity and that isn’t something people like being associated with.
4. Avoid saying things that might offend people in any way. You are not obligated to agree with anything anyone says or listen to them bragging about something that is not even true, but at same time, try to not be offensive to them because not only does the embarrassment hurt their own self-esteem, but it also increases their dislike of you.
5. Be more expressive. If someone says or does something that you do not like, it’s better to share it with the concerned person thus, maintaining transparency between everyone. Bottling up emotions leads to a bigger outburst later on thereby projecting a very negative picture of you. Transparency encourages honesty between people.
6. Give respect to get respect. Respect is a mutual process and you will only get it if you know how to give it. Saying offensive things and hurting people is not going to help you earn any respect and it’s more comforting to be around those who look at others as equals, not inferiors.
7. Be careful with your body language because gestures act as a window to your inner person. If you come across awkward situations, it’s better to smile politely or just walk away with a smile.
8. Be helpful to anyone who needs help. Have you ever been in a jam where somebody randomly helped you out for no selfish motive of their own? Doesn’t it feel great when someone helps you out? So, why not extend the feeling and help those around you! They will remember you for your act and they cannot help but like you.
9. Smile more often. It is the magical brew of all like-able qualities in one. It shows kindness, compassion, empathy, understanding, genuineness, et al. Along with the people around you, a smile brings happiness to your life as well. Whether or not you can contribute an experience to a conversation, you can always contribute a smile.
10. Watch what you say. People who think before they speak reflect the wisdom that they possess. Since words can really hurt, people always feel more secure to be around those who are careful with terminologies.
11. Learn to laugh. It makes people around you feel much more at ease and it also makes you more relaxed. Laugh not only with/at others but also at yourself because there is nothing that shows you embracing all your qualities than the ability to laugh at things that are funny about you. When they see how honest you are about yourself, they can’t help but admire you.
12. Compliment people. Who doesn’t like to hear a good word about themselves? Compliments make our efforts feel acknowledged and it is amazing to be around people who notice even the little efforts and mention them.
13. Give more and expect less. People appreciate givers. You necessarily do not have to give prized possessions or even materialistic things. Giving a small thought for others is highly esteemed and if you expect less, you won’t be disappointed very often. Therefore, whenever someone does something for you, you’ll also feel happy.
14. Spread as much positive energy as you can. If you say positive things and give people hope, you are perceived as a strong person, full of bright energy and a pleasure to be around.
15. Do not impose your opinion on others. Nobody likes people who push others into following their school of thought. By doing so, neither will you be able to make your point nor will anyone really care about what you say.
16. Be kind to people because that’s a virtue every respects and notices. People who are kind and considerate of others always find themselves well liked wherever they go.
17. Try to be more forgiving. Forgiveness is a quality that everybody likes less likely to be intimidated around those who have a tendency to let off if something doesn’t go according to plan.
18. Acknowledge good gestures. If someone gives you something, show them how happy they’ve made you. Expressive individuals are easily likable.
19. Treat thy neighbor as thyself. It’s always better to take care of everyone the way you’d want yourself to be considered. It brings out a lot of compassion and love from both sides.
20. Stop being judgmental. People are anxious around those who are critical. They are scared of being themselves as that might trigger off opinions they would not like to hear. Everyone’s always fond of people who can lend a listening ear without forming any kind of opinions about them.
21. Show truthfulness and honesty. Do not lie, even if that means you will get into trouble because it speaks volumes about your integrity and upbringing. Everyone likes being around honest people because they can always be trusted.
22. Keep your word. Promises are meant to be broken but those don’t break them are always favored. They are always considered more responsible and dependable, which makes people like them better.
23. Be confident about yourself. Only then can you show confidence on people around you. Everybody loves a confident, reassuring friend who’s very determined and shows that same kind of faith in people around them.
24. Avoid negative thoughts because it always reflects in your actions, intentional or otherwise. Whining, gossiping about others, moaning about things doesn’t project a positive and happy image of you thereby giving no one a reason to stay around you. They also make people depressive and sad. To be likable, you have to be happy.
25. Shouting and screaming should be avoided at all costs. It creates a very negative and shallow impression of people. Nobody would even want to stick around such people, let alone like them.
Being likable is not very easy initially because you might have to alter yourself a bit, but once others perceive you as a likable person, they will give you the importance and respect, and then the little things you’ll do by going out of your way will not make that much of a difference because the affection and love will outshine it all.