Every relationship at some time or other faces its share of ups and downs. It’s a natural part of the relationship cycle. No relationship will ever be one without fights, problems and bickering. Although both the parties involved in the relationship have to work hard on it, problems still occur and it’s up to the people in the relationship to make it work despite it all.
Long days and long hours away from each other due to working hours, stress, time etc add to the problems a couple faces. The challenges are several in today’s love stories and the key point that helps is open and mature communication.
The core of a couple’s problem is not being able to communicate openly and communicate frequently. Without open communication, couples face a lot of pent up anger and frustration which sometimes bursts out as angry fights and verbal arguments.
You may have observed, when a couple visits a relationship or marriage counsellor, they usually focus on getting the couple to talk, to discuss their problems and then find solutions that are feasible for both parties to adapt to.
The importance of communication, especially regular communication and mature communication between couples is of utmost importance in a relationship.
Here are some tips on solving communication problems between couples:
Talk regularly. Don’t just restrict communication when you need to buy something or plan something. Don’t blame your busy schedules for not being able to talk, make it a point to take time out to talk a lot, even about general things like what happened a work and what your boss said etc. This will help strengthen your relationship and develop a better relationship.
Go out together often
A couple that is courting will have frequent dates but one that has been married for years will have a lesser number of dates. That shows that there isn’t much desire for fun anymore. Go out often, include some fun activities in your daily schedule so that you can feel the urge to talk about things and share your life in ever sense of the word.
Make it a point to have a weekly discussion about pending issues
Many a times, due to hectic work schedules and lifestyles, people put off arguments for later and the later never comes. Make it a point to keep a day in the week reserved for these purposes where you both stay focused and discuss the underlying issues. The discussion will result in some sort of solution that will eventually help you both.
Stay calm during a talk
When talking to your partner, you need to be calm. If you are angry, that doesn’t mean that you fly off the handle and say random things. If you control your senses and stay calm, you will be in a better position to talk in a mature manner and discuss things like two grown up adults.
Stay focused during a talk
One needs to be thoroughly focused while talking to each other. Focus on the subject that you need to talk about and don’t stray from it, this will help to find a proper conclusion when you need to talk about or discuss something.
Plan regular holidays
What one basically needs is time. Time to talk freely without the daily tensions of life and problems surrounding each other is ideal. So go on holidays where you can talk openly and share your views and thoughts, where there is no work tension bothering you at the bottom of your heart.
Plan activities together
Whether it is an activity as simple as eating together everyday or working out everyday, plan activities that enable the two of you to get more time together. Try and go for jogs, for walks, shopping, etc. It isn’t a myth that couples who eat together stay together after-all. It really does help in the long run.
Have more social functions at your home
Invite friends, invite families and interact with others so that you can learn to communicate freely with everyone. Host parties, not all the time but at least a couple of times in the month. Planning it and making sure it turns out to be a success will help you to communicate with each other.
Spend time with other married couples / couples in relationships
By spending time with other serious couples, you will be able to observe and see how they behave and communicate and this will help you as an example. It will influence you to pull up your socks and behave better and communicate more with each other. Observe other happy couples and take cues from them. It is the best way to learn and adapt to a better relationship.